Meanie

I feel like a really mean person. Do i really pressure others to live up to my standards? perhaps i do. today saw me pressuring someone close to me, till the person broke down. it jus made me realise how mean i can be? i mean, i dont use mean words to put u down. but perhaps my anxiety for perfection jus comes across a lil too overbearing and intimidating that sometimes i seem to be unable to take 'NO' for an answer? honestly, i can take no for an answer as long as its reasonable. but sometimes i really cant deal with it when someone close to me doesnt wanna improve or jus has no motivation for greater things in life.

speaking of which, ive learnt to say no to things that i dislike over the years. sure i do tolerate with some nonsense at times, but ultimately if a no is what will put the nonsense to an end, its a no u will hear coming out from my mouth. i know of friends who have problems rejecting others - in simple english, saying no.. and sometimes i wished i could say it for them. however, all of us has this learning curve. either we're learning to say no, or we're learning how to tolerate having others push our limits - which curve are u?

sigh, yet another day closer to the exams. although there hasnt been anything close to what i used to achieve thru my studying sessions, i still think that its the tryin that matters. ive made myself a prisoner to my home, and i apologise for pushing away all requests by friends to ask me out for coffee or studying sessions. but sometimes being a prisoner aint that bad yeah? especially if i have cell mates like Michael Scofield (meeeeooowww!)

oh oh oh, plus plus plus, i hate having cramps. URGH.